


Therapy

by crescent_gaia



Series: Family Matters [2]
Category: White Collar
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-04-19
Updated: 2013-04-19
Packaged: 2017-12-08 22:07:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,822
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/766563
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crescent_gaia/pseuds/crescent_gaia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The sequel to <a href="http://archiveofourown.org/works/389683">the True Story</a> - Neal goes to therapy at the suggestion of El and Peter.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Family Dinner

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own _White Collar_ or any of its characters. Two characters - Christina Manzo and Emmanuel Gray - are from my own twisted mind. This is set with season 1 and 2 in mind.
> 
> A big thank you to Tatra for being her amazing self, my partner in crime, and betaing this crazy thing.

El looked at Peter across the table as she took a sideways glance at Neal. They were eating their first meal together since Neal came out of jail. She kicked Peter under the table, meaning to be less forceful than she meant to be. Peter raised an eyebrow at El, flicking a baby tomato at her for the kick. Neal looked at the two of them before flicking a bit of macaroni at Peter. “Neal,” El said.

“What?” Neal asked innocently. He stuck his tongue out at Peter as he got hit with a bit of meat. “Don’t stain.”

“Peter,” El said.

“You started it. You kicked me,” Peter said as Neal flicked another piece of macaroni at him.

“I was trying to get your attention, not start a food fight,” El said as she gave Neal a look.

“Sorry El,” Neal said sheepishly.

“It’s not all your fault,” El replied. “But I do want to bring something up that is about you.”

“Oh?” Neal asked with a bit of curiosity. “What is it?”

“She thinks that I should tell you something that Hughes wants you to do,” Peter said before El could respond. “Even though I think you’re going to say no. But El did suggest the person and she passed all the background checks that we have in place for someone in her line of work.”

“What line of work?” Neal asked. He had a sneaking suspicion what Peter was going to suggest as a small knot formed in his stomach.

“A therapist,” Peter replied. “Her name is Christina Manzo and she works with people who have gone through different kinds of trauma. Hughes thinks that it would help with the different cases that we’re going to have coming our way. We went through the first one fine, but he’s worried about what will come in the future. I’m a bit worried about it as well.”

“I know,” Neal said quietly and looked down. He felt the knot tighten. “I know about your meetings with Mozzie. I followed him that day after we were done with the job.”

Peter blinked and then smiled. “Cannot put anything past you.”

“You two were good in the beginning but Mozzie blew it. He said he had to go see someone about a newspaper. It sounded fishy, so I followed and I had the okay from the office to do so.”

“Since they thought you were with me,” Peter said with a chuckle. “We’re going to keep those meetings.”

“The two of you could just call each other on the phone and talk,” Neal pointed out.

“Phones are bugged,” Peter replied. “And he won’t come over here unless El is home.”

“Moz is very nice and not about to try anything,” El said quietly. “He did check the house a few times for us while you were away. Never did find anything, but I’m glad that he did it.”

“He’s a good friend to have,” Peter said.

Neal raised an eyebrow. “Friend?”

“He’ll never admit it,” El replied. “But he’s trusting Peter more and more. I think it helps that Peter is doing a bit more on his side of the law rather than Peter being stuffy.”

“I am not stuffy,” Peter replied. 

“You are at times, love,” El said. “Who wants more?”

“I think I’m good,” Neal replied as El got her plate and went into the kitchen. “Moz is trusting you more and more?”

“Yes,” Peter replied with a shrug. “Now, about the therapist.”

“What was her name again?” Neal asked.

“Christina Manzo,” Peter replied. “I think she could help you, Neal, if you want help. I know that we’ve been talking and you’ve been talking to El a lot.”

“And El shares, I know that,” Neal replied quietly and nodded a yes. “Maybe you’re right…I’ve been having dreams of what happened at the hanger.”

Peter looked worried. “Dreams as in looking from the outside or reliving dreams?”

“Reliving,” Neal replied quietly and felt the knot loosen. “I’m not sleeping all that well and going a bit overboard with the espresso. Besides, admitting you have a problem is the first step to getting better, right?”

“Only if you’re doing the twelve steps, but I do think you’re on the right track,” Peter replied. “Your first meeting with her is tomorrow at three.”

“… You already set up a meeting for me?” Neal asked. “How did you know I was going to agree?”

“One of the things that I just know about you,” Peter replied. “And I could see today that you weren’t sleeping as well as you did the night before. Or the night before that. So you were more likely to agree to help rather than dismiss it out of hand.”   
“You’re quite the mastermind,” Neal said with a grin. “Are you sure we shouldn’t just give up our day jobs and go into the bank business?”

“Burke and Caffrey?” Peter asked with a grin. “I think El might kill us.”

“Not if we give her a good cut of the money,” Neal joked. “Okay, so she might just kill you.”

“No, you,” Peter replied. “You’re the one who got me into it, remember?”

“Only because I knew the other way in.” Neal grinned. “Besides, wouldn’t it better than the retirement money you’re going to get from them?”

“Neal, you are not allowed to get Peter into your business,” El replied as she came back to the table. “Or anything else you two are thinking up.”

“We’d give you a nice cut,” Neal said. 

“The only cut I’d like is something that Peter knows about,” El said with a grin at Peter.

Peter just grinned as he relaxed into his chair. “What?” He asked as he saw Neal raise an eyebrow.

“Am I allowed to know?” Neal asked, hopefully.

“Yes. We’re trying. Again,” Peter said.

“We tried two times now,” El replied. “If nothing else, we’ll just adopt you.”

“We did that already,” Peter pointed out.

“Now I just feel loved,” Neal said with a chuckle as they sunk more into the banter back and forth with each other. He relaxed for the first time since Kate’s death, feeling a bit more of belonging and safety.


	2. The Hat

Christina Manzo made sure that everything in the office was just the way she liked it. She moved a box of tissues from her desk to a side table by the chase lounge. She smiled at the simple piece of furniture against the wall. It brought the room together in a different way than a couch would be. A person could lie down but at the same time, sit up and be comfortable. She looked at the clock, seeing it turn to eleven am and looked to the door. She sat down as she heard the door open and Agent Burke walked through the door. “Agent Burke – I thought I was seeing Mister Caffrey today?”

“And you are,” Peter replied. He reached out from the door and pulled Neal inside. “Neal Caffrey, Doctor Christina Manzo. Doctor Manzo, Neal Caffrey.”

“Hello,” Neal said as he took off his hat. He played with it in his hands, something to distract him as he looked around the office. It had the nice touches – some light from a window, flowers on the desk, some pictures of her family – everything to suggest that this was a place of calm. He could feel that something was hiding under the picture of calm, but he wasn’t about to say anything. He would wait a bit and see where this was heading.

“It’s good to meet you,” Christina replied. “Am I doing a joint session today?”

“No, I just had to walk him here or you wouldn’t have had a session today,” Peter replied as he looked at Neal. “Play nice.”

“I always do,” Neal said as he watched Peter walk out of the room. He tried to keep the look of fear off of his face and the feeling of being lost. He wished that Peter had decided to stay for the first session, but he knew Peter’s modus operandi – sink or swim. He liked that about Peter, but at the moment, he wished that Peter was a bit warmer. _A bit more like El_ he thought as he sat down on the couch. 

“So, Neal, why are you here?” Christina asked with a soft and welcoming smile. She sat down across from him in a comfortable chair with a notebook and pen at the ready.

“Peter thought that I should come,” Neal replied.

“You mean Agent Burke,” Christina pointed out.

“Yes,” Neal replied. “We kind of go by first names. Helps with the working as partners thing.”

“I see,” Christina said as she made a note. “Why did Agent Burke think you should come and visit me?”

“Because I’m having problems with a death of someone close to me and he’s worried that it’s affecting me,” Neal replied matter of factly.

“And is it?” Christina asked with a soft and warm smile. It was the smile that was used for the patients who were children or childlike. She knew that it would work on him.

Neal just looked at her. For a moment, he thought that she would make a good grafter as she had some of the same vibes Aunt Sophie put off from time to time. “Yes,” he admitted as he started to play with his hat a bit more. “I loved her deeply. She was everything to me. She was perfection in every way that she could be. Innocence, light, just…everything,” he said as his voice trailed off. His mind flashed back to what happened at the hanger, seeing again the plane in flames behind him and feeling Peter keep him back from going to Kate. His hands tightened as he realized that was Peter was trying to do. Trying to keep him from everything he could do to get to his one goal and now she was dead. He couldn’t take it back. He was aware that Christina was speaking as he tried to focus back on her. “I’m sorry?” He asked.

“I was wondering where you went in that one moment,” Christina replied with her safe smile – the one that she gave with those who lost a loved one.

“Back to what happened,” Neal replied. “I just – I’m sorry, I don’t think you can help me. I don’t think anyone can.”

“I think I can,” Christina countered. ‘But I think that we shouldn’t start with something that is so fresh in your mind. The feeling of lost can overwhelm you, just as it did there. We’ll go back in time and see your past to help you deal with your present. I would also like some joint session with Agent Burke if you feel safe enough to do that.”

Neal nodded a yes. “That works. But going back? Are you sure that’s best?”

“Yes,” Christina replied. “It’ll take a while, but it is the best course. And you might find out a bit more about yourself. Maybe why even you went into your form of work that you had before you came to work for the FBI.”

Neal raised an eyebrow at that. “It was a family business.”

“That we will get into at the next session,” Christina said. “This is really just an introductory meeting so I can get to know you better.”

“Because everything has a meaning?” Neal asked. “I know someone who said that before.”

“Who?” Christina asked.

“My aunt,” Nate replied with a nod. “I haven’t seen her in a while, but I know she’s doing alright.”

“Well, she’s right,” Christina replied. “Playing with your hat means that you’re nervous and you’re keeping your mind occupied. It’s a piece of armor for you, so you clung to it when relived the moment instead of just remembering. It keeps you safe from the world.”

“That’s a lot to say about one piece of clothing,” Neal said with a smile as he looked at the clock. “It’s really been a half hour? What do you have down for my diagnosis? PTSD?”

“Yes it is and no, you don’t have PTSD. You are having a major depressive episode,” Christina replied as she looked to the door as there was a knock. “Come!”

Peter came into the room. “Here to pick him up, as you asked.”

“Thank you,” Christina said with a smile as she looks to Neal. “Our next session will be an hour, if that’s alright with you.”

Neal nodded a yes, making a note to ask her more next time. “That’s great,” he said as he got up and left the office with Peter. He straightened a bit more, going back to the security he had with Peter. When they were out in the hallway, Neal took Peter’s hand and smiled as he got a squeeze of reassurance. That would sustain him until they were home.


	3. The Twinkies

“You ready for this?” Peter asked as he was dropping Neal off at his next session with Doctor Manzo. There was a bit of worry that Neal could hear.

“I think so, this time,” Neal said with a bit of a smile. He was more relaxed today and looked at Peter. “Thank you for this.”

“I’m not sure if you want to thank me just yet,” Peter replied.

“No, I do,” Neal replied. “Without you and El, I would have probably just kept on working and ignore what was happening with myself. With this, even though I have no clue where I’m going, at least I might be able to put everything to rest. Not relive it or have nightmares.”

Peter nodded a yes as he rubbed his arm where he was hit last night due to one of Neal’s nightmares. “And I’ll not have to restrain you when you start smashing your things.”

“I did say I was sorry,” Neal said.

“I said I forgive you already,” Peter replied as he pulled to a stop. “I’ll be back in an hour.”

“Back?” Neal asked. “I thought you just stayed in the office.”

“Yes – El’s working near here…” Peter trailed off as he saw Neal’s face go a bit white. “I’ll be right here. We’ll meet her after the session and get coffee.”

“Starbucks?” Neal asked, a bit of hope in his voice.

“If you behave,” Peter said with a smile. “Go.”

Neal nodded and got out of the car, going up to the office. He was about to knock when Doctor Manzo opened the door. “Morning.”

“It’s good to see you again, Neal,” Christina said with a smile. “Come on in,” she said as she let him into the office. 

“Thanks,” Neal said as he walked in. He smiled as he smelled the chamomile that was burning that mixed with a nice whiff of vanilla. “Your office smells better today.”

Christina chuckled at that. “Thank you,” she said as she motioned for Neal to have a seat. “Would you like some tea or water before we start?”

“No, I’m good,” Neal said with a bit of a nod. “How are you today?”

“Good,” Christina said with a smile. “So, where shall we go today?”

“Before we start, I wanted to counter your diagnosis,” Neal said.

Christina sat back in her chair. “Alright.”

“There’s been no change in my mood, activities, or change in eating,” Neal said. “Sure, I am going through a bit of insomnia at the moment, which goes into the fatigue. But my motor activity is fine, I like myself, and… well, my mind wanders.” He decided not to get into the last bit of criteria – thoughts of death.

“You only need to have five of the markers,” Christina countered. “You do have five. Do you want me to list them.”

Neal held her gaze for a long moment before looking away. “No.”

“Then we’ll go back to what we’re starting with,” Christina said. “Where shall we go today?”

“Depends on what you want to know,” Neal countered.

“Well, why don’t we start with how you first got into your first business,” Christina said as she leaned back in the chair.

Neal raised an eyebrow. “Is that what we’re calling it?”

“For today, yes,” Christina replied. “I know it doesn’t sound nice, but it is how I’m categorizing it in my reports.”

“Or you could just say that I’m a thief and a conman,” Neal said with a bit of a grin.

“Why don’t we get to what you want to share,” Christina countered.

Neal sighed softly. “I was eight,” he began.

*~*~*~*

_Eight year old Neal Caffrey walked into the Kwik Trip where his mom shopped all the time. He was on his way home from school and mom asked him to stop and get milk. He had found the money in his lunchbox with the note. He knew what he was going to do though. He had planned it out nearly every week he came here with his mom and she said he couldn’t have them._

_He knew his goal. He was going to get the Twinkies._

_He made his way to the milk section, grabbing a gallon of two percent. He went back up to the front with the milk, taking a side track down the snack aisle. He could see the employee there, stacking different boxes onto a shelf. He walked past where the individual Twinkies were being displayed with the boxes a few more shelves up. He moved the milk to his left hand, shaking the right hand from the cold. As he did so, he lifted the individual package of Twinkies and put them in his inside coat pocket. He turned his head to look at the employee, who hadn’t noticed a thing._

_He walked to the front, paid for the milk, and went home. He waited until later that night to get and eat his Twinkies. For him, they tasted even sweeter than usual and fresher than he thought they would be. He grinned as he realized that he liked what he had done and would remember for next time._

__

*~*~*~*

“So you were eight?” Christina asked as Neal finished his story.

“Yes,” Neal replied quietly as he let himself relax a bit more on the couch. He wondered what would come next.

“And you had no remorse?” Christina asked.

“Not really,” Neal replied. “It was one packet of Twinkies. They wouldn’t be missed, considering that a lot of kids came through and bought them. I just didn’t have enough money.”

“And you felt that they were better than normal, right?” Christina asked.

“They were.” Neal shrugged. “I don’t think it means anything.”

“It does,” Christina countered. “It meant that you were proud of what you had done. That it brought you fulfillment, even though you knew the act was wrong. It just was the one point in time that sent you down your path.”

“So, if I had paid for them, I wouldn’t have been a thief?” Neal asked with a raised eyebrow. “I doubt that.”

“One never knows,” Christina said as she wrote down something before looking at the clock. “Our time is up for today,” she said.

Neal sat up. “Until next time?”

“Of course,” Christina replied.

“Thanks,” Neal said as he walked out of the office and to Peter. “I’m cured. Turns out I have a fear of rectangles.”

Peter raised an eyebrow. “And you like _West Wing_. Come on,” he said as he got up and lead Neal to the Starbucks that was across the corner. 

El looked up as they came in, giving a wave as she waited for them to come over with their drinks. “How did the session go?”

“Well enough,” Neal replied. “I talked about my first theft.”

“The Twinkies?” Peter asked, looking amused.

“Yes,” Neal replied. “It was a good one. One of my best lifts.”

“And we wonder what went wrong,” Peter said with a chuckle as the conversation turned to other topics. The three relaxed before going home together to a nice dinner and evening.


	4. Surprise Mozzie

Neal looked up as the car drove up to where he was waiting. He was out of the office to look at a rare Franciso Goya to make sure that it wasn’t a fake. He tilted his head as he made out the driver and opened the car door. “I thought Peter was picking me up today.”

“He’s busy at the office and asked me to come and get you,” El replied. She pointed down to the Starbucks cups. “Get in.”

“Don’t need to tell me twice,” Neal replied as he got into the car and buckled in. “Which one is mine?”

“Back one. You don’t want mine – its decaf,” El replied as she pulled out from the parking spot. She weaved in and out of traffic, making Neal nearly spill coffee twice. “Sorry,” she said as they waited at a stop light.

“Decaf due to trying to make mini El or mini Peter?” Neal asked.

“I’d rather have a mini Peter,” El replied. “Did he ask you?”

“Ask me what?” Neal asked, looking confused. It was an odd emotion on Neal’s face.

“Of course he didn’t,” El said with a sigh that moved a bit of hair out of her line of vision. “We want you to be godfather to either mini El or mini Peter. He was supposed to ask you after the last therapy session.”

“That one didn’t go well,” Neal said quietly. “We tried to talk about my mom. It’s a…sensitive subject.” 

El looked at Neal before moving through the light into some traffic. “Do you think it is helping?”

“Yes,” Neal replied with a bit of a smile. “I just – It’s hard to talk about mom without bringing up _him_.”

El nodded a yes, knowing who Neal meant. She didn’t know the entire story about what had happened to Neal. All she knew is that Gray brought fear to a man that she thought had none. She also knew that Gray was an asshole and that only skimmed the surface, due to what happened to all of them when Peter got shot. “You don’t need to speak about anything you don’t want to speak about.”

“She wants to talk about it though,” Neal said. “She thinks it’ll help with getting past Kate…” his voice trailed off as he thought about something.

“Peter already looked into that,” El said quietly. “It wasn’t him or anybody connected to him.”

“I’ll ask him about it later,” Neal said quietly and looked to El. “Pass it along to Moz?”

“I’m in the backseat,” Mozzie said as he sat up.

Neal chuckled. “Taking a nap?”

“No, not really,” Mozzie replied. “Mostly just helping Mrs. Suit with the different things she needs to do today.”

“I needed a lawyer because a client who was ducking payments and I didn’t know any better lawyers,” El explained. “And it worked like a charm.”

“So now I’m not your only client,” Neal said.

“I’m also working on getting paperwork together if they fire the Suit,” Mozzie said. “Mostly due to the fact that I don’t think they’ll just fire him.”

“I know they won’t,” El replied. “We’re here,” she said as she pulled into a parking space. “Are you okay with not being walked up? I’ll go with you, if you want.”

“Not really,” Neal said quietly. “I don’t even want to go up there. I don’t like the office. It’s too sterile and it feels confined, especially when we touch on the difficult subjects.”

“Good then,” El said as she waved to Christina from out the window. “She’s coming with us today. She wants to see where you live.”

“Don’t worry, we’re ready for a visit,” Mozzie replied as he got out of the car to let the Doctor in.

“El…” Neal said quietly.

“Peter’s idea, even if he’s not here to put it in motion,” El replied quietly. “He wants you better, Neal. Not just for the cases, but for you as well.”

“I’m not about to swan dive off of anything,” Neal countered.

“He’s afraid you’re going to disappear,” El said. 

Neal froze at hearing that. He looked down at the white lid of the Starbucks cup, letting that idea run over in his head. He had thought about it – there was no denying that. It was more to run in order to protect Peter. To protect El and Mozzie, as they were the only ones that were left. The only ones that mattered to him now. “I wouldn’t,” he whispered. 

“Is everything alright?” Christina asked. “If he’s not ready, I don’t mind having an office visit.”

“No, this is fine,” Neal said, his tone going flat. “Let’s just get this over with,” he said quietly as El started to drive again.

*~*~*~*

They had made good time. Neal led the doctor through the different rooms he went into, his living space, and finally the roof. He sat down, looking off into the distance instead of at her. He only turned his head when he heard his name and smiled a bit at her. “I’m okay,” he said quietly to her.

“You’re even quieter than when you are at my office,” Christina replied. “Do you want to try to talk about your mom again?”

Neal bit his lower lip. He was about to voice a negative when he heard someone else come up to the roof. He smiled as he saw Peter, relaxing at his presence. “Having a session here.”

“I know,” Peter replied as he sat down at the table. “Doc, do you mind if I’m here?”

“No,” Christina said. “In a way, I’m glad. He seems more relaxed now.”

“I have that effect on him,” Peter said with a grin. “So, what’s today about?”

“Mom,” Neal replied. “And him, of course. Can’t talk about one without the other.”

“Him?” Christina asked.

“Emmanuel Gray,” Peter replied for Neal. “Sorry.”

“Thank you for the name,” Christina said as she kept a hawk’s eye on Neal. She could see that the name made him constrict and nearly curl into a ball. “I would like you to remain quiet though or I will ask you to leave.”

Peter nodded a yes. “I understand.”

“Mom was good,” Neal said as he looked at Christina. “She had her thief skills while my aunt had the grifter skills. And she was good – grandfather made sure that she was. I never met the man, but I heard he’s taught one other who has survived with another group. I wish I could have met him, but that’s life. Back to mom,” he said with a soft sigh. “She was trying to make it so that I was the one who was going to be on the right path. To be a lawyer or a doctor or even a priest. When I was a kid, I took the Lord’s name in vain a lot,” he said with a slight smile. 

“What happened?” Christina asked in her gentle voice.

“I, um, came home one day from school and he was there talking to mom,” Neal replied. “He had a job that only she could do. She said no to him – she didn’t want to do the job. I don’t blame her – it’s not an easy job unless you’re willing to spend months practicing and you have all your ducks in a row. So she said no and he came after me. Took me while I was walking home from school one day.” He let the silence hang for a moment before taking Peter’s hand under the table. He gripped it hard, taking the strength that he needed. “A family friend helped her get me back. In doing so, Gray killed her. Shot to the back of the head,” he whispered, his voice barely heard above the noise of New York.

Peter gently squeezed Neal’s hand before looking to Christina. “Do you need anything more?” He asked.

“Not for today,” Christina replied and smiled softly. “Neal, there is one good thing out of what you told me.”

Neal looked at Christina in shock. “What’s that?”

“You didn’t relive when you told me about your mom,” Christina said. “You did when you explained about what you first stole as a child. But this memory – you’ve become stronger than it. It is a very powerful thing – it shows that you can heal, even if you think you can’t.” She gathered her things, putting her notes into her bag as she did so. “Do you want to meet here from now on, instead of my office?”

Neal nodded a yes. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” Christina said as she stood up. She walked over to where June was waiting, talking softly to her.

“She’s good,” Peter replied quietly to Neal. He moved and pulled Neal into a hug. He just was comforting as Neal started to cry, giving him a chance to get the emotions out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The rest will be up later today / tomorrow. Cheers!


End file.
